The Subtle Art of Slowing Down

Injuries, an inevitable art of living an active lifestyle. The subtle art of slowing down isn’t really an art, more an enforced mundanity that absolutely no-one enjoys.

2020 was a year that meant taking every opportunity to get outside, before Boris changed his mind about restrictions – again! I rely on exercise for physical wellbeing, mental wellbeing & socialising. As such any opportunity to play outside is rarely passed up. Rest & recovery was never something that entered my head, my only thoughts were ‘what am I doing next’.

Of course, my enthusiasm got the better of me & eventually 6 months of being constantly active, without a thought of taking care of my body caught up. It was that first ride back on the road bike late September, after a couple of weeks spent on the mountain bike, I felt a searing pain through front of my right knee. One of those pains that every time I put pressure through my pedal stroke it hurt, badly! Even more unfortunately, I was quite a distance from home, those few hours riding slowly and painfully home were agonising. It was sinking in that this was going to be an uncomfortable set back.  

The hardest part about any injury is accepting it – I called this the subtle art of slowing down. Over a period of a few days and no signs of improvement it dawned on me that lack of R&R for well over 6 months was coming back around to bite me. I’d been running, cycling & just generally active pretty much every day for 6 months. Problems were compounding in my body – I needed a break & some professional help. My body was screaming at me every time I moved or attempted exercise.

The diagnosis was a muscle imbalance that had led to severe inflammation on the quadricep tendon – caused by poor alignment when cycling. It took me a while to come to terms with this, why had it taken so long to flare up when I had been using that riding position for 6 months.

The subtle art of slowing down became further compounded by the lack of mental stimulation I get from resting. I hate sitting still. When I can’t get endorphins flowing, I go stir crazy. It’s a vicious circle, one that I haven’t had control of for a long time – one that perpetually requires me to be active to keep my mind and body satisfied. But ultimately it’s not possible, you need rest. As I’ve found out, the hard way.

Yet even in the bleakest of circumstances there are opportunities. After so much TV binge watching, you realise you have quite a lot of mental headspace when not constantly planning or doing anything adventurous. This ‘break’ gave me the headspace to change my perspective – accepting that the big thing isn’t happening, it can’t happen and I accept there are bigger problems then me taking an 18-month career break to travel the world. People are dying and my luxury is not important. I had to accept that & come to terms with it, along with my injury.

I always wanted to travel before I bought my own place. I spent large parts of 2019 & 2020 planning and waiting on the opportunity to go travelling. I effectively put my life on hold, focussing on that goal all the while the little daily events that make up life were just passing my by. I enjoyed them, but dismissed them as little things on the road to the big goal I had my mind focussed on.

The subtle art of slowing down has allowed a shift in perspective, enabling me to take joy in the little wins every day. I get to share adventures with friends, spend time with family & engineer clever things at work. These little things make up life and it’s easy to dismiss them as little things when focusing on a big thing. I guess what I’m trying to say is this is I can’t spend 18months exploring the world by bike, but there is still so much more I can do. The world is still turning and opportunities keep arising, as long as you choose to see the positive in everything.

Slowing down sometimes is better for the mind, headspace to think. Instead of riding every day, I’ve been working on a stronger body. One that’s fit for purpose. Normally I ride for the love of it. In doing that I fail to take care of myself. Ignoring the need for rest, just doing what I want when I want. 4 months on from the injury, after a lot of physio, rehab and S&C, I’m feeling so much stronger. I’m back to riding big days, running is no problem & once again I’m feeling like my usual active self. One piece of advice I would give to absolutely anybody – invest in a bike fit. My god it’s been a game changer. My revolutions feel so much more efficient & comfortable, with no aches or pains the next day. It’s quite scary how just a few tweaks to a set up can make such a difference. It’s also scary how badly wrong I had my set up.

Usually when I do any kind of thinking, the outcomes can be pretty cataclysmic! I’ve decided I want to give myself a goal, something to focus on and continually work towards in 2021. I’ve decided to enter the world of bike racing. Of course, it won’t be criterium races or even sportives. No. I’m jumping straight in at the deep end with ultra-distance, endurance bikepacking races and events. You know, nice and easy ones!

I’ve followed these events and races for a while as a spectator and dot watcher, always thinking I’d like to ride that part of the world & wonder how I’d get on competing alongside other endurance athletes. I figure if I can’t take my planned 18 month sabbatical to see the world on my own terms, I’ll enter races and see the world in short snippets.

Racing will add a new dimension. I love riding long distances, it feels only natural that I add a little purpose to it. Riding has always been about location as opposed to physical limits. But curiosity has got the better of me. I want a goal, something to work towards everyday. I’ve lacked that through 2020. I think the routine will do me some good. Especially spending so much time at home these days. I have a pretty intensive training plan to follow that’s going to require as much time spent training as a working week. I’m excited by the feeling of purpose its giving me – I know what I’m working towards & I can see improvements each week.

As for racing, I have no expectations other than to push myself beyond any limits I’ve ever experienced. I want to see the world, this is how I’m planning to do it.

See you out there!